On the occasion of Gerald Phillips' 66th birthday
From the request line...BtC and the QC-L Choir
ON TOP OF OLD GRUMPY
(with apologies to traditional American Folk Ballads)
In posts from old Grumpy, when he's fired up with zeal,
Both rightists and leftists are soon made to feel
The force of his diction, and reference sublime
Though they may be half-fiction, they'll do for the time.
[...sing one, Dan...]
You think that you've pegged him, you've got him in check,
And all of a sudden, you're flat on the deck,
'Cause he knows how the rules work, how to tread round your ruse,
So when you spring the trapdoor - HE'S GONE!, your noose just hangs loose.
[...now you, Claudia...]
Credentials, credentials are his claim to fame.
He has 'em and you don't, or that's what he'll claim.
He's done more than you have, he writes it all down.
He's the New World Wonder, in State College town.
[...over to Eric Lightfoot...]
When it comes to credentials, gmp's got the degrees
And will bring all pretenders right down to their knees
An inspiration to many, this dude's really smart
He speaks with his mind, as well as his heart
[...sing a few rounds, Heidi...]
He challenges our lifestyles,
both liberal and not.
Gerry looks for the shadows,
and then takes a shot.
He's a willing opponent,
That GMP fine..
I'm really very grateful
That he's never mine!
So much do we owe him,
The Owner of lists.
If we only were wiser,
We'd all be Gerry-ists!!
[...signify one, yodelin' Jeff]
He once was a hoodlum, a street-fighting thug
Who'd rearrange faces, give you a new mug.
And now he's reformed and, refined and retired,
But conjugate poorly, and watch him get ired.
[...some fine Irish tenor from Terry O'D...]
I met dear GruMPy on the information highway,
Ombudsman to students, virtual guide to the cmc way,
I was struck by his brilliance, his magnamity,
Until enrolled on QC, where he displayed his IDIOSYNCRACIES.
[...bring it home from the West Coast, Carol...]
If you attempt to outjew him he's more Yiddish than you.
But don't despair goyim, he's Tzigane too.
He's Gypsy and Semite, Khazari and Yank
A Grump for all climates, a transnational Crank.
[...sum it ALL up from the East Coast, Sheila...]
I've laid out a time line, and plotted each deed,
Each article, book, job, epistle and screed.
You must realize, friends, to do all he's done,
The year of his birth was eighteen forty one.
[...OK now, everyone join in for the finale!]
So, what's the occasion, for these words and rhymes,
When we're all in between now, those holiday times?
Well, we know that you'll hate it, but we wanted to say,
"You're still the tops, our old Grumpy, so Happy 66th Birthday!"
Lightnin' Willie and the Quintessential Chorale Laboratory
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